February Mama Message
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“Compromise, communication, and consistency are needed in all relationships, not just romantic ones."
- Alex Elle
February is a logical time to focus on our relationships. There has been a lot of conversation in my life recently about relationships and the communication between people regarding family life. There are the regular daily challenges, and the challenges that we face in an era of social media, texts, and emails, not to mention just trying to find the time to really deepen the conversations. However, there seems to be even more going on these days that is discouraging to the fabric of family life. Our expectations of relationships have changed, along with the roles that we take on within the family dynamic. As women we are more independent, but we still seek meaningful partnerships. Men are being asked to step into changing roles, and many are striving to balance work, relationships, and families in new ways. We are all struggling with these changes, and when it comes to raising children, healthy communication is key.
So how do we proceed? A wise friend recently shared an insightful podcast that I recommend, with author and couples therapist Terry Real at https://thrivinglaunch.com/whyrelationsips-fail-terry-real/ that really got me thinking. Terry wrote the book I Don’t Want to Talk About It that deals with male depression, and he has very thoughtful insights. In many cases we need to look at much deeper issues then just making time for date night and family outings. It is so important for our children to see healthy, striving communication between their parents. Many of us carry the wounds from dysfunctional family life, and we are hopefully at a point in human development where we can be the catalyst for a changing paradigm. Terri points out that while many of us won’t make changes for ourselves or our partners, quite often we will strive to change for the sake of our children, and he shares ideas for couples to facilitate this change. I find that observation to be incredibly hopeful, and I am beginning to see the signs of change more often these days.
The first step is acknowledging that help may be necessary, then having the courage to speak out and ask for it. In the past so many have just struggled in silence, but if we want a different world for our children, we need to create a new reality. This can be very difficult to implement, and there are some helpful tools to open us to this change. Mindfulness, couples therapy, biofeedback, parenting groups and books can be first steps. I always incorporate aromatherapy as well, and have seen the plants work their magic in aiding us in being receptive to this shift. Marjoram essential oil is one for assisting us in making healthy connections with others, and to learning to trust more deeply. We can diffuse this oil, or use it topically, and then we can use the fresh or dried herb in teas and meal preparation.
However you choose to work on the key relationships in your life, I hope that you will take some time this month to think deeply about the importance of strong connections, healthy communication, and positive role modeling for the sake of our children. Wishing you all the best for a happy and loving month.
Maria